I know you are but what am I?

145-Minutes of Commute: The Ghetto Walk - Miles Davis

Today was the last day of a 5-week study and let me tell you, the party that is going on in my head is a celebration, a class-A, full-fleged, Paris-Hilton-attended, mardi-gras level fete. Taking measurments on the Friday group was like babysitting a classroom full of children.

Susanne was in my last study and she complained then. I found out that she went to Stuy and so, elitist that I guess I am, for approximately 20-seconds I respected her. Then her bitchiness came out again and I wanted to kick her. We were a little bit behind schedule, and eventhough every other time we let her out 2-hours early, she moaned and moaned; the lunch-room we provided was not comfortable enough for her, so she whined for the entire month; I asked her to hold something for me for 10-seconds (so that I could prep the next thing and thus get her out faster), when I took it back she reached for it again, then paused say "oh right, I forgot I don't have to do your job anymore."

Bridgette was by definition nervous. And dumb. She would not stop laughing -- which disrupts some of the measurements from the rise in body temperature -- and seemed to only find it more amusing that we wished she would laugh so much. She would hunch her shoulders, scrunch her face, and whisper to her fellow-panelists about how she was "being bad", just like I used to do as I snuck notes to classmates detailing the latest gossip. At one point during the month she tells me matter-of-factly that gas should never be more than $2/gal. Err, did you know that gas does not grow on trees? It's not fucking renewable, smarty.

But mostly, there was Helene.
This woman owns her own accounting business and has three children. Adult? No. She is the most annoying of them all; none of my co-workers could stand her. She is extremely overweight. She speaks with a slur. She is blond. But these are just physical trivialities. She is never on time. She rallies up the other panelists (Bridget especially). She always has to be right (see convo #1). She tries to get under your skin. She is downright malicious (see convo #2).

Conversation #1:
Helene: Are you earrings heavy?
Me: No, not at all.
H: Really? They look heavy. What are they made of? Leather? (they look nothing like leather)
M: No I think they are plastic painted in black.
H: Huh. They look really heavy.
M: No, they're really not (I attempt to take them off to let her hold them and thus prove her wrong)
H: (laughs) Heh, now that I said something you realize they're heavy right?

How do you compete with that? ARE YOU FOUR!?!!?!?!?!?!!!??!

Conversation #2:
(Vanessa is multi-tasking because we are behind schedule)
H: (laughs evilly) We get watch Vanessa multi-task!! (snickers some more)

We blacklisted her from future studies.